Note: N2 Descendant of Edward III King of England (1312-1377) Welsh Founders of Pennsylvania by Thomas Allen Glenn p. 44 facing Marion Fenimore Engle Cook 1889-1980 She was given the name Marian, and changed the spelling to Marion because she didn't like people pronouncing her name as "Mary Ann." She grew up in Mt Holly, New Jersey with her parents and younger brother, William, and her two widowed grandmothers living across the street. She went at age 14 to Westtown, for 5 years, 1903-1908. Western is a Quaker boarding school where her father and grandparents had attended. An early picture of her with other girl students is in the Westtown archives and when it was posted for an Alumni Day, my brother Chester R Ladd Jr., recognized her and had prints made for us. The spring Westtownian features the picture, dated 1903. She met Joseph Alexander Cook through a girlfriend who knew him, and was “courted by him”. He had grown up and graduated from Princeton in 1909 as Joe Cook, but she “preferred to call him Alec, less common than Joe.” One of their dates featured a ride in the newfangled “auto-mobile” he had borrowed from a friend, probably to impress her. He enjoyed the beach very much and she said that “he probably married me for my money.” But evidence from their letters show they were very much in love. They married in 1912 in a Quaker marriage ceremony. Their “wedding trip” was ten days in Bermuda where they by traveled by ship. A clerk from the family hotel the Engleside worked there in the winters when the Elgleside was closed, and made all the arrangements for them. June 19, 1912 on the “Bermudian” Marion was seasick on the way home. When they married in 1912 they first lived in an apartment in the Forest Hill part of Newark, but soon moved to the Cook family home in Montclair, New Jersey, possibly in 1914 when their first daughter, Margaret was born. They shared the very large house with Cyrus Alexander Cook, the patriarch, Aunt Anna, sister to Cyrus, spinster schoolteacher and family historian, and Aunt Ginny, (Imogene Cook) older sister to Alec, also a school teacher. The house had been enlarged in 1892 to accommodate the four cousins of Alec who came to live with them when their widowed mother, Maria, twin sister to Alec’s mother Louise, died of cancer. His mother Louise Crane Cook also died young in 1902 and Aunt Ginny, oldest of her children took over management of the house. It must have been difficult for Marion to live with her sister-in-law and father-in-law rather than in her own house. But she made the most of the situation and appreciated the help with the raising of her three daughters. She also brought to work at the house William, a combination handyman/cook who did many of the chores, including the laundry. His parents had worked for her parents in MT Holly. He was a “natural cook”, sweet tempered and not fussy. He was good with pets and wonderful with the children. Unfortunately, according to Grandma, he “had the failing” and would occasionally go on a binge. She tried to prevent this overindulgence by carefully controlling his spending money and supervising him closely. He was part of the household for over 27 years, eventually retiring to south Jersey where he had family. He never married. During the depression when there was little income, they had boarders who used the extra bedrooms and a first floor sitting room. They took meals with the family and became extended family to the three sisters growing up. My mother told us about Adelina Philendina who married Mr. Scalizie, who she remembered especially because of the alteration of the three names. My grandmother Marion Fenimore Engle Cook 1889-1980 was called “Grandma”. Some of her homegrown philosophies: “You don’t want to marry someone you can get along with, you want to marry the one you cannot get along without.” “Take what you have and do the best you can with it.” “I would rather read than do anything else.” “Look for what you can like about people, faults will show up on their own without looking for them.” “Never say ‘no’ if you can say yes, but if you do say it, stick to it.” “Thee knows that babies are not like the dishes, thee can’t leave them in the sink overnight.” On accuracy when sewing the hem of a dress or skirt “it will never show on a galloping horse.” However she also said many times, “If it is worth doing, its worth doing right. Take it out and fix it.” “You can’t help what happens to you, but you can help what you do with it.” “Take what you’ve got and do the best you can with it.” “If you worry about not being able to do the things you want, when you are old you won’t want to do most things.” She believed in “self respect, not selfishness.” and that one ‘should take pride in one’s self and actions.” “Give of yourself and what you can do for others will make you happy.” “Enjoy doing for other people, and give of yourself.” She was “not easily angered or annoyed, very accepting of others,” but she also expected others to always do their best and not be selfish. She “never believed in worrying because it never got you anywhere, just takes up time.” “You must do what you have to to and get on with it; if you can’t change something, let it go.” “You have to accept what you can’t change and make the most of it.” “It is up to you to arrange your point of view, look for the best and the world will respond.” “Your attitude makes a difference to your health. Try to give pleasure and naturally you feel good.” Admonition to her children (and grandchildren) “Be pleasant or remove yourself.” from her mother Margaret Clothier Engle “A woman convinced against her will is of the same opinion still.” from her Grandmother (not sure which one) “ I have had an elegant sufficiency, more would be a superfluity.” “Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap.” Grandma’s mother Margaret Clothier Engle (1860-1947) had money from her mother Anna Davis Fenimore Clothier (1835-1921) which she had the use of for her lifetime, then was inherited by her daughter Marion Engle Cook. Grandma’s mother Margaret Clothier Engle (1860-1947) attended the 50th wedding anniversaries of both of her grandparents. Allen Fenimore 1802-1889 married 1824 Anner Davis 1802-1880 married 56 years William Clothier 1804-1881 married 1827 Elizabeth Peddle 1802-1882 married 54 years Grandma received $1000 from her mother in 1912 as a wedding present which she used for clothes and furniture. She also received from her grandmother Clothier a suite of bedroom furniture, and some other furniture pieces. Plus she eventually inherited some antique furniture from both Clothier and Fenimore families. “Margaret Clothier Engle (1860-1947) was the last of her father’s family so she ended up with many Clothier antiques. The Fenimores were a larger family but had older and nicer things.” Grandma said that she preferred to manage, and hire someone for physical labor. She paid her maid $5 a week, which was a generous wage (not sure of dates.) Grandpa, Joseph Alexander Cook (1888-1972), called “Alec” by Marion, was not much of a wage earner as a salesman, but Grandma said “He wasn’t much to live on, but awfully nice to live with.” The first thing they discovered they had in common was the love of cats. Marion felt that Alec had never learned to make decisions because his life had always been run by his 3 older sisters. So Marion determined that her children would learn to make decisions. “Alec never thought of himself first, always he thought of Marion, her desires and wishes.” “He didn’t have a selfish bone in his body.” She made most of her 3 daughters’ clothes and matching hats. But her daughter Marion, my mother, remembers as a teenager going into New York City to department stores to pick out clothes which were then sent to the house in Montclair, New Jersey. There the girls tried on each item, each was inspected inside out by Aunt Ginny to see if it was well constructed and properly sewn, then some were kept and the remainder were collected to be returned to the store. Those were the days ! Grandma said that she “always felt happy.” Growing up she was indulged by her parents and two grandmothers who both lived across the street in Mt Holly, New Jersey. She lived on Mt Vernon Street in Mt Holly and her grandmother Jane Darnell Engle (1838-1922) was “Big Grandma” and grandmother Anna Davis Fenimore Clothier (1835-1921) was “Little Grandma” She used to check her own kitchen and those of each grandmother to see what was being fixed for dinner and then chose the menu she liked best to eat there. Grandma and her brother William were the only grandchildren for both grandmothers and were much indulged. Both grandmothers were widows. They were much loved and indulged, but with no nonsense allowed. The Engle family had a farm with horses and cows outside Mt Holly and the children would often visit the animals, William especially loved the farm. They would visit with (Great)Aunt Marianna at the farm. (This is probably Marianna Darnell (1845-1914) unmarried sister to Grandma’s grandmother Jane Darnell Engle) Robert B. Engle also built a 200 guest summer hotel “The Engleside” at Beachhaven, New Jersey which was run after his death by his son Robert F. Engle, manager, and silent partner David, Grandma’s father. Grandma’s family spent every summer at the hotel at the beach; they were there from June to September, as her mother had hay fever and was much more comfortable at the shore where there was the beach, tennis, sailing and fishing. There is a wonderful picture of Marion fishing as a child in a sail boat, with her mother napping. Marion liked to sail and to swim, but did not like tennis, “it was too much running around.” The “bathing costume consisted of bloomers with garters for the stockings, a skirt and blouse, and a scarf to protect the head.” She would swim in the morning, and sail or sit on the beach in the afternoon. Marion described her grandfather Engle as a “sweet-tempered, darling man who could paint and draw. he had an easy disposition.” But, as he died when she was very little, she would not have know him personally. Her grandmother Engle was “kind of bossy, very capable, and a good manager.” She managed the hotel business while her husband Robert managed the kitchen business. He was also a New Jersey State Senator. Her father David Engle was artistic and musical. The evenings at the hotel included an orchestra of piano, violin and coronet to make music for dancing. There were also card parties. Unfortunately the hotel went into debt during the depression in the 1930’s and when World War II started, the hotel was demolished for its materials to help the war effort. Uncle Robert Engle, who managed the hotel, and his wife Sarah and children Robert and Jean were also at the hotel each summer. He had married later than David and his children although cousins of Marion were the age of her daughters. Their twin daughters, Patricia and Sally were at Wellesley with Marion’s granddaughters Louise, Bonnie and Nancy. Grandma had strong Quaker beliefs, and was raised as a member of the Society of Friends. Her Engle ancestors (and those they married into) came to New Jersey from England to escape persecution as Quakers. “From the "Diary" of Susannah E Woolman in Besser's "Sufferings of Quakers": "Henry Engle and wife Elizabeth were distressed and confined in goal in 1685 in Glouscestershire (England). On 1st month 20th 1660 John Inghill and others were taken out of meeting at Colchester in Essex and confined in jail for nine weeks." The Engle grandparents were Orthodox Quakers. The Clothier grandparents, and Aunt Priscilla were Hicksite Quakers As a child Grandma also occasionally attended Episcopalian Church services with her Grandmother Clothier From Family History Stories January 2017 Bonnie L Hamilton
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